odd icebreakers

an introduction(?)

i’m a writer. / my favorite color is red. it wasn’t always, but suddenly it was. / i’ve dyed my hair (partially) red twice. i think about dying it (entirely) red at least once a month but i still haven’t actually done it. / i like rum; it is my most piratey trait. the most drunk i’ve ever been was the product of a broken milkshake blender and a bottle of storebought piña colada mix whose brand evades me. younger me was afraid of getting drunk before she learned about rum.

i love dogs. i’m learning to love cats (as a kid, i was never taught not to treat them like dogs). / i say things like “vampires are my favorite monster but genderwise i feel quite werewolf.” / i like vampires, but genderwise i feel quite werewolf. / i am a woman, at least a little bit, sometimes. i could never be a man but there’s definitely a tiny man in my brain, not in an internalized misogyny way, but in a way of feeling vaguely like a dude on weekends. / i have yet to find a gender i’m not attracted to.

i have a boyfriend that i love like another part of myself. i wonder if that makes me selfish. / i like music. i love certain genres to the point of near-worship but broadly i also just like music. / i used to play the piano. i was quite good at it. / i collect records. sometimes while i listen to them, i think a lot about how much they’ll make me miss my dad someday. / preemptively grieving is a bad habit of mine.

i will never have enough tattoos. / i love my friends. / if i had a nickel for every time someone assumed i was a stoner, i’d have enough to fill a sock and beat people with. inside thought. journal factory explosion? / i have a lot of anger in me. it’s pretty ugly so mostly i keep it hidden. / for example, i’m still angry that i never got a proper apology. i’m even more angry that i apologized for something she did. i’m even angrier that i still think about it. / i’m meaner than i’d like to be. i’m aware of that.

i hate the urge to aestheticize everything. also, i adore pinterest. / i hate writing about myself but the catharsis is too much of a rush. / i think that everything i enjoy is deeply embarrassing. i hide my passions from the people that love me most out of a baseless fear that they’ll laugh at me. / i never really believe people’s compliments.

i love driving good god i love driving. / i hate the environmental impact of driving and also the gas prices good god. / i miss believing in god because now, i’m afraid to die, but that’s the only reason. / too much of my perspective is overrided by how afraid i am to die.

thinking about yourself this much leads approximately nowhere. / let’s be friends.

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idrk what this is but it was fun to write so i think that’s the big thing. if you would like to encourage this sort of behavior feel free to subscribe <3